The internet has entered our lives at “high speed”. At the touch of a finger, it has opened up a whole world to explore. It serves not only as an exceptional educational tool but also as a form of communication, allowing us to talk to close friends and to new friends around the world. The value of the internet is unparalleled.
Unfortunately, the internet also has the potential to victimize and in some cases, seriously harm. Innocence, trusting nature and fearlessness often lead us to explore internet sites not understood or recognized as dangerous. The stranger no longer develops a relationship face to face, but does so in secret.
Parents are often at a loss about how to protect their youth while still allowing them to come to know one of the most powerful educational tools of our day and not get left behind their peers.
Safety in cyberspace does not differ much from other protection issues except that that the average youth probably knows more about the computer and internet than their parents do.
For generations, parents have taught the “don’t talk to strangers” rule to their children but that rule has a whole new meaning now. Things have changed drastically with the advent of technology. Parents have something new to fear now that kids can chat with strangers all over the world via the internet, on social networking sites or in chat rooms.
About 94% of Canadian youth are regular users of the internet at home and many are very savvy when it comes to technology when often times their parents are struggling to keep up. Ontario Provincial Police statistics show that more than 70% of 13-14 year olds have been in chat rooms which are widely understood to be the most dangerous places on the internet and often the most popular hangout on the internet for predators. Over 80% of youth don’t tell their parents about their online experiences. What is really frightening is that 25% of kids who use the internet chat rooms are asked to meet face to face and the startling reality is that 15% do, putting themselves in harm’s way.
Internet luring is a common practice today where youth are approached on line and those who frequent chat rooms without supervision are more likely to become victims of luring or pornography. Parents need to be more aware of what their kids are doing on the computer and who they are chatting with on line.
There is a stranger in your home - be cyber aware.
The scary thing is that many younger people who chat on the internet think it is perfectly safe. It isn’t. Talking in chat groups and through emails isn’t anything like talking over the telephone or meeting someone in person. Deception is easier. There is no eye contact and no chance to pick up hidden meaning from the cadence and rhythm of a voice or from body language. Predators log on using fake names and create new identities. A young person may not find out they are dealing with an adult until it is too late.
Internet luring - a real and present danger.
Youth need to be cautious when using the internet because predators who frequent these chat rooms are skilled manipulators and know how to approach vulnerable adolescents or teens. Online predators are smart and engaging, know what to say and how to act and can easily capture the attention of a lonely teen who feels at odds with the world or the circumstances at home and is sitting in front of a computer screen, looking for some sort of contact. Some of these individuals gradually seduce their targets through the use of attention, affection, kindness and gifts. They are often willing to devote considerable amounts of time, energy and money to the process. They listen and empathize with their problems. They are aware of the latest music, hobbies, games and interests of their target. The youngster is usually no match for the predator and things can get serious if they end up arranging to meet with the stranger. The predator is often prepared to travel to meet their victims so the problem is frequently not a local one.
Many of these crimes go unreported so the predators aren’t caught and they get better and better at deception. Although tips to officials have saved some, police are often called when it is too late; perhaps when a youth has run off to meet an adult they have been chatting with online, for months.
One major problem is that most of the time parents don’t know when their kids are in trouble.
Some signs to watch for:
- Long hours on the computer
- Closing windows on the computer when you enter the room
- Secretive about internet activities
- Behavioral changes
- Always doing homework on the internet but also always in chat groups, thus getting behind in school work
- Unexplained telephone long distance charges
- Won’t say who they are talking to
- Unexplained pictures on the computer
- Receives questionable mail, emails, gifts or packages
- Receives excessive phone calls from an adult not known to the family
- Requests photos be taken of themselves or family members
The internet opens up the world and brings predators into your neighbourhood. It is like heading down a dark alleyway, directly into harm’s way without protection and without safety precautions that should be in place. Parents would never put their child into such danger knowingly, but that is what happens when parents don’t get involved.
All those involved in fighting cybercrime agree that prevention through education is crucial. The best defense is a watchful, involved parent but sometimes it is difficult for parents to monitor kids on the internet. Parents must educate their children on internet safety and establish guidelines for them. There should be an agreement so that youth respect the rules and parents respect their children’s’ privacy.
Some tips for parents
- Get involved – learn about chat rooms and about what your adolescent/teen is doing on line
- Set rules for internet use including how long they can go on line
- it is important to keep the computer in an open, high traffic area of
the home, preferably where you can see it at all times
- restrict access to the internet when no supervision is available
- be sensitive to the actions of your adolescent/teen on the internet
- maintain open lines of communication with your adolescent/teen
- teach your adolescent/teen to stop immediately if they see or read anything that upsets them
- use web cams with caution and unplug the web cams when they are not in use
- know your adolescent/teen’s cyber-friends the same way you know their friends in every day life
- Talk about responsible internet use
- Encourage youth to create their own Internet code of conduct and create an online contract for their use
- If you become concerned, talk to them in a non threatening way to discuss your concerns
- Report any incident of online harassment or threat to your local police and internet provider
Some things to know:
- The things aid online may or may not be true
- Use a code name while on line
- Never arrange a face to face meeting with someone met online
- Never upload (post) pictures of yourself onto the internet or online service to people you do not personally know
- Never give out personal, identifying information such as name, home address, school name, parents’ workplaces or telephone number
- Never discuss vacation plans as this could lead to a burglary while the family is away from home
- Never download pictures from an unknown source
- Never respond to messages or bulletin board postings that are suggestive, obscene, belligerent or harassing
- Tell someone if anyone says or does something on line that makes you feel uncomfortable or threatened
- Be very careful of webcams and ensure they are turned off when not in use
Often young people who have had more serious forms of abuse will be affected in adulthood. There are risks of post traumatic stress, depression and the possibility that they will be re-victimized. A tumbling effect occurs and these symptoms can lead to life long issues.
If you have any information about any serious crime, please call Crime Stoppers.
If your tip leads to an arrest or recovery of property or narcotics
you may be eligible for a cash reward.
You will never have to give your name or testify in court and Crime Stoppers doesn’t have call display or call trace.
Call Crime Stoppers locally at
222-TIPS (8477) or toll free at 1-800-222-TIPS
or
Click here to use our secure on line form
or
Text TIPSUD and your message to CRIMES (274637)